Saturday, July 31, 2010

Influence

All our knowledge begins with the senses, proceeds then to the understanding, and ends with reason. There is nothing higher than reason.
-Immanuel Kant
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When Mr. D asked me to be English Teacher in KHD and RAK dormitory, I said, “Yes, yes and yes!” so then I teach English for junior and senior high school everynight. Yes, I’m falling in love with this job right now. when I see all that faces, I can forget about my job in another place. Believing they don’t need me but I need them in fact.
I’m not Miss Muslimah, with all her strong heart. I’m not heroic like Onizuka. Not Visoner like John Keating. All I know just try. Trying to do my best. I have deep affection for them. Deep down inside, I know that I need them to fix up my self. I need them to learn a love, friendship, prudence, and honesty.
There're Bugis, Jawa, Banjar, Ende, Dayak, etc in my class. They speak, they laugh, they deride for each other, they learn. I watch them. It’s not bad to spend my evening.
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(If a fox is unable to befriend a tiger, then the fox should create an illusion of close association with the tiger by carefully trailing behind the cat while boasting of the deep friendship they share. In this way, he creates an impression that his well being is of great concern to the tiger. Chin-Ning Chu) Selengkapnya...

Saturday, July 24, 2010

PRECIOUS



"Bisikkan lah rahasiamu kepada angin, namun jangan salahkan ia yang telah memberi tahu pohon" - Kahlil Gibran
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Mungkin, aku lebih memilih hancur badan karena banyak kesibukan dan pekerjaan daripada hancur karena pikiran. dan memang, hal yang paling susah aku hadapi atau pecahkan adalah soal perasaan yang "bertentangan" dengan logika.

Seperti halnya tadi, baru saja, ada The Stanger yang aku anggap istimewa melintas, I scream to my self, "Hey you, ok dia cool. dia tipe yang kau pikir memenuhi keinginanmu but, (always BUT) look at you. you WILL NEVER HAVE THAT ONE. THAT'S FACT!"

What did that ONE DO? just smile. and look at me with all the innocent face.

dan begini lah, aku akan fight lagi. fight untuk forget it. forget all my desires. it will hurts me in fact. tetapi, sebuah ketololan bisa mendewasakan jika dalam sebuah kemungkinan yang benar. katakan lah seperti itu. katakan lah aku sedang menghibur diri.

aku tidak ingin membuat promise or deal apapun. biarlah waktu yang berjalan lambat, yang membuat pola, yang mengambil alih proses. aku tidak ingin ada harapan, ada mimpi dalam hal ini. bisa jadi, waktu bisa bermain baik kali. semua itu persoalan waktu, dan kesediaan untuk menerima tentang hal-hal yang mungkin, memang tidak bisa diraih.

menempatkanmu didalam ruang hatiku adalah seringai luka yang lugu, sementara mengaburkan hasrat dan dirimu adalah kesepakatan waktu yang berharga untuk membuat aku, kita manusia, menjadi dewasa. Insya Allah. Selengkapnya...

Thursday, July 22, 2010

The Stanger

"Is love a tender thing? It is too rough, too rude, too boisterous, and it pricks like thorn?"*
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"I know who you are. I love you. I love everything about you that hurt"**
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Hello Stanger!
do you notice me? I SEE YOU!
I'm tired. cant forget your smile, your eyes. I love you with all my silent, with all my innocent heart.
I love you with all my freaking mind, with my world half-full.
it that's not enough. I've nothing to say, to do but try to forget you.
knowing I'll never win that thing in case. this's perfect hurts.
It's life. just take it, and go away.
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"If love be rough with you, be rough with love. Prick love for pricking and you beat love down"***

(July 22nd, 2010)

note :
* & *** William Shakespreare - Romeo+Juliet
**Larry - Closer Selengkapnya...